open with their feelings. Both of my parents have passed and that was hard. But last December I had a very close friend who died that is the same age as me. That was a whole other situation as my mortality hit me right in the face. I could not imagine not being here right now. I was shocked but I wanted to be there for everything. The first night of the wake, there were so many people there and so many people I had not seen in a long time. My friends know how spiritual I am and that I talk about death and moving on like it’s nothing. There were people there who are the same way that I am and there were also people there who just don’t like to talk about it at all. Those were the people who were just outside the room and talking about what was going on with their lives or anything else but what was happening. Keeping what you’re feeling inside just brews and then one day you have a break down and you don’t know why. I was glad to see so many people inside the room talking about my friend Jeff and memories they had with him. Talking about it is a release and you’re sharing it with others who are going through the same thing as you are. If you have ever noticed that the people who talk about it move on in a better way or faster way than the others. Then when the others are ready to talk, it’s awkward because you have moved on from that stage.
People try to keep themselves busy so they don’t have to deal with the person who has just been taken from their lives. They try to speed through it which is why the title to this movie is so accurate, Speed Grieving. People need to confront their feelings as they’re happening. They need to really feel. That is what makes us human. I was sixteen when my father died and the first time I saw him lying there in the casket, I lost it. It was like the waterworks were turned on full force and they didn’t stop. My mom was so great because she just hugged me as we walked up to casket. She didn’t say a word because she knew I had to just get it out. My aunt on the other hand, ran over to us and wanted to take me to go sit down. It was like she was pulling me away from my dad. Then the words you don’t want to hear came out of her mouth,” It’s ok, come on let’s go sit down. Ok just calm down.” What? Are you serious? I just pulled away and said,”No! Leave me alone!” As much as I couldn’t take seeing him lying there, I had to. I had to because I needed it to sink in. I needed to feel the devastation and the reality that this was it, he wasn’t coming home and no matter that he looked like he was sleeping, he was not going to wake up.